Almost 18 weeks!

Nurturing Parenting

The unexamined life is not worth living. - Socrates

Insight leads to choices; choices lead to changes; changes lead to liberation. - James Hollis, The Middle Passage

I'm starting training for work. The parenting program we teach is Nurturing Parenting, and it seems pretty good so far. Ready, set, go!

I tried to smother myself with my pillow today

. . . in an attempt to block out the idiot voices that are plaguing me. It did not work.

Here's the thing people: just because something pops into your head (or is said on conservative talk radio) does not mean you should repeat it. Seriously. Let your mouth be a barricade. Please.

Case in point: "Not correcting the gay problem is tearing this country apart." First of all, THE GAYS ARE NOT OUT TO GET YOU. I'm going to keep repeating that, because the conservative radio has laid their side on a little thick. There is no agenda, the gays do not have some sort of sick evangelism campaign going, no one is going to break into your house and have extra-marital sex in your living room. The gays are not as afraid of you as you are of them. Seriously. I promise. They are only afraid that their kids will one day have to put up with your ignorance.
Let me back up. Passing a law that allowed a civil union between two people of the same sex would not be condoning their sin any more than allowing spanking condones child abuse. Spanking has been shown, over and over again, to be detrimental to the development of a child. Spanked children have a harder time interacting with their peers, they are more aggressive, they are more likely to have trouble in relationships - they do not know how to relate to other people outside of the 'do as I say or else I'll hurt you' paradigm. Your continued use of spanking could (and is, in some circles) be seen as a serious sin against your kids. But we aren't going to legislate away your right to spank. Why? Because the U.S. Government has NO RIGHT to say what does or does not go on in your house. (Can you think of any other area where this logic could be applied?!) And because Americans shouldn't be legislating away something that could, in some hypothetical extreme, be harmful but that isn't in everyday practice.

Another example: "Obama's health care plan is like letting the post office run our health care system." What? First of all, the post office doesn't get any tax dollars. None. So the two are nothing alike. Secondly, even if they were, you don't *have* to use the post office. FedEx is right down the street. They'll deliver your letter too. But they won't come to your house, pick it up, and deliver it for 42 cents.



Sometimes, living here is incredibly difficult. There are opinions held and loudly voiced here that just wouldn't be tolerated anywhere else in the country or industrialized world. And today, I just want to be in a group of people who consider the people around them before they speak.

As much as I love church, I am tired of church people. I need a break. I have faith, but I do not therefore vote Republican. Micheal Steele is not the intermediary between faith and the voting booth.

Spanking and Shielding

I was reading a blog today by a Christian mama who mentioned her belief that when parents spank a child (especially a young child) for touching something or trying something deemed 'wrong' they are actually shielding their children from learning. Not only from learning that cars are heavy and could crush you or that stoves are hot, but from learning about life or how to try anything. If punished for trying/exploring/etc. children learn to play it safe, do only as their told (well, that seems to be the goal anyway), but is that safe? How do those kids learn to make decisions when they're older? Do they have to continually call their parents to ask permission or advice? Are they capable of sizing up an obstacle or question and weigh the options?

Wouldn't modeling good problem solving skills teach our kids a lot more than spanking teaches? I'd like for my kids to leave my home knowing a lot more than just 'don't'.

I've kept a blog since 2002, and I have never been a post-a-day kind of girl. It just isn't my style I guess.

Adelaide seems to be doing better. Plus, she slept really well last night. No dramatic, desperate crying for mama, no hours of misery hoping she'd calm down and go to sleep. If tonight goes as well, I might be sleeping in my own bed tomorrow night! Apparently, when I'm not there, she's perfectly happy to sip a bit of water when she wakes up. She only wanted milk once, and only took about an ounce. We ended up giving her the rest of the milk when she woke up just so we wouldn't have to waste it. She wasn't even hungry. So it can be done. Here's the plan:

2 more nights: she gets a milk option, we keep trying to lay her down awake but sleepy
next 3 nights: try not picking her up when she wakes up. We'll just pass her the water and talk to her and pat/rub her belly.

After that, we'll keep the routine for a week or so and then try giving her a room of her own. Maybe. I'm not committing to anything just yet. I dearly love waking up to her raspberrying my arm and then crawling over to me and patting Aaron on the shoulder and kissing his nose. (all winter, his beard was too furry - she kissed his nose instead)

Baby Bauer #2 is on the way!

Suddenly, a few weeks ago, I started getting carsick. And then food started to taste different. And then I smelled different. *red flag*

So I peed on a stick. The 'pregnant' line showed up before the 'this test is working line'. Way before. The 'pregnant' line showed up even before I had read the time on my phone. You're supposed to wait 3 minutes before reading the test, but after I took it, I had to back out of a few menus on my phone before the time was displayed. In the few seconds it took for me to back out to the main screen, the test already clearly read 'pregnant'. I was 3 days late, same as with Addie.

After Aaron and I got married, I had lots of baby dreams. Now that I've met her, I can see that baby in those dreams was Adelaide. Exactly Adelaide. Since she was born, I've had lots of dreams about having twins. Not baby dreams like Addie, not as vivid nor as unsettling.

We went to the pediatrician's office for one of Addie's checkups and when I mentioned the possibility of weaning due to pregnancy he said he thought I was pregnant with twins. He had a sense of it. This man (I'm sure) has little to no OB/GYN experience. But somehow his assertion that I could have two in there seems foreboding.

Fast line, consistent dreams, and a random comment from an almost stranger. Circumstantial evidence at best, but enough to make me wonder!

----

We are working on nightweaning Adelaide. I feel terrible. I hate it. But I'm so tired. And if I'm pregnant, nursing, and working full time, I need sleep. Aaron is up there armed with bottles of water (which she will take if she is not hungry), a bottle of milk (which she will take if she is hungry), and lots of love and patience. I know she is not alone. I know she will be well cared for and that I am right here. I know that she is old enough and secure enough to handle this. I know. But I like curling up with her at night. I like peeking into her crib and seeing her little chest rise and fall. I love her. I love being near her. I do not want to be away from her for an entire night.

She hasn't even woken up yet. It's time to sleep, and it's time to put all this worry away. *sigh*

Resurrection

I saw something on the history channel today about the 'first' Jesus. Something about a tablet that may or may not reveal Simon as the original rise-from-the-dead savior. While this was on I was feeding/entertaining/enjoying Adelaide and making lunch so I didn't get a whole lot out of the show, but it seemed to be based on very little. Too bad, I was all geared up for a crazy conspiracy theory. And those are way more fun when they're not completely made up.

By the way, did you know the dinosaurs were placed by martians as a joke? http://www.squidoo.com/rex-dinosaurs

Also: http://toadelaide.blogspot.com/

Seriously impressive. By the time Adelaide is 5 I wouldn't mind having 2 more kiddos, I could totally use this set up.

To avoid letting your child take from you, give freely.

I think that's the answer. A child has needs. His or her needs cannot be changed or diluted or postponed. But if you give, you retain your power, your child's needs are fulfilled, you maintain your relationship. I think.

Speaking of giving, I'll now give my time and body to my hungry baby.

hmm

“It is better to die on your feet than to live on your knees.”

“A coward is incapable of exhibiting love; it is the prerogative of the brave.”

Toys!

Beautiful!
Stacking Cups

Magic Cabin has lots of fun toys, and all appear to be beautifully made. I especially love these dolls. Reviewed here, they are getting me all excited about filling an Easter basket for Addie.

She'll have beautiful, handmade things and will end up liking the cheap plastic things more. Well, hopefully not.

So I'm thinking I could make those stacking cups. Some brightly colored fabric, a little batting, and the stitching shouldn't be hard. I might be able to get all of it at the thrift store.

The Overful Offering Plate

Today's offering basket was full. Overflowing.

We are such a small church, but we give with a joyful heart and it creates quite a bounty. I almost pushed down the money in an attempt to keep it all secure, but I stopped myself. I hesitated because I didn't wanted to deny anyone else the joy of seeing that full plate passing through their hands. Somehow our church has no trouble trusting God with our financial security. We aren't well off by any means, but we cheerfully entrust to God that which is his.

Where has all the breastmilk gone?

I donated my milk to Jasmine.

All fall I wondered why I had so much milk. People kept telling me that milk supply was moderated by Adelaide's demand, but I was skeptical because Addie did not want all the milk that I had. I was right. The milk wasn't for her. It was for Jasmine. A week has gone by since Jasmine was stabbed, and she should back to breastfeeding her son again if all went well.

From the Fairbanks News-Miner:
FAIRBANKS — A Fairbanks woman was arrested on felony assault charges early Thursday for allegedly stabbing her neighbor in the arm while burglarizing the neighbor’s apartment near Fox.

Jennifer E. Loving, 31, was arraigned on four felony charges in District Court on Friday, including first-degree assault, first-degree burglary, second-degree theft and tampering with physical evidence.

According to a criminal complaint filed in court, Loving is accused of stabbing Jasmine Wells, 29, in the left arm with a folding knife after hiding in a bedroom closet when Wells woke up and mistook Loving for her boyfriend. Loving rented a house next to the duplex Wells lived in.

Wells told Alaska State Troopers that she woke up in a back bedroom about 2 a.m. and heard somebody in the room. She initially thought it was her boyfriend, Justin Morgan, and called out to him.

At that point, Loving allegedly turned off a flashlight she had on and crouched in a closet, according to the complaint.

When Wells got up to go into the living room, Loving attacked her and stabbed her in the arm. Wells’ screaming woke up Morgan, who witnessed the assailant run out the back door. Morgan began to chase the assailant, but Wells’ screaming caused him to stop and return to the apartment to check her injuries.

Their landlord, Allen McQuade, who lives in an apartment above Wells and Morgan, awoke and called 911.

Wells was transported by ambulance to Fairbanks Memorial Hospital, where Sgt. Jeremy Rupe interviewed her. Wells had a puncture wound in her left tricep and a cut on her left forearm. The wound in her tricep was bleeding profusely, and hospital staff told Rupe that Wells had lost about two pints of blood.

Wells was transferred to Anchorage to have surgery on her arm. At Friday’s arraignment, assistant district attorney David Buettner told magistrate Alicemary Rasley that Wells could lose her arm as a result of the stabbing.

Troopers interviewed Morgan, who said the assailant fled in the direction of Loving’s house, and footprints leading from the back door across the yard were found when Rupe returned to the scene. Rupe interviewed Loving at 7 a.m. and noted she was the same height that both Wells and Morgan indicated the suspect was.

Loving denied any involvement or knowledge of the incident.

An hour later, Morgan called troopers to report that he had watched Loving place a tan bag in the trunk of a car that was similar to the bag that was taken from their apartment earlier that morning. Morgan then followed Loving down the Steese Highway, where she was stopped by troopers responding to Morgan’s call.

The trooper who stopped her asked to search her vehicle, but Loving initially refused and said the trunk contained only trash.

Rupe again interviewed Loving, who eventually confessed to stabbing Wells because Wells scared her. Loving then took a bag of items from the home and fled.

Loving also admitted she was taking other items, including the boots that she was wearing at the time of the stabbing, away from the home to get rid of them.

Loving also admitted to puncturing all four of the tires on McQuade’s Toyota pickup with the knife she stabbed Wells “to get even with him.” McQuade and Loving got into what he described as a “blowup” because she had not paid rent in two months and he asked her to leave.

Troopers determined that Loving gained access to Wells’ apartment through an unlocked entrance to the garage. She admitted to stealing Wells’ purse and an iPod from Morgan’s car.

Calling Loving’s actions “absolutely terrifying behavior,” Rasley set Loving’s bail at $75,000. She is being held at Fairbanks Correctional Center.

Contact staff writer Tim Mowry at 459-7587.

I'm back

Moving right along:

New Schedule
8-my bible study time
8:30-Mirus's bible study time
9:30(ish)- Adelaide wakes up
morning classes, playgroup, bible group, study time, work, or lunch date
Monday, Wednesday, and Sunday - we all have lunch together
Friday and Saturday - I'm working
afternoon classes, study time(s), doctor appointments or work
dinner together most days
6 - evening classes
Tuesday dinner date (out of the house!)


That's all I can remember right now. We have to have it all mapped out. One side of the page is a map of who is where and on what day, the other side of the page is who is responsible for being primary parent and when.

Plus, we have a monthly calendar to keep up with less frequent engagements. Turns out, two parents working, taking classes, and being involved in various community and social groups makes for one very, very busy family. It's a good thing we only have one baby right now. We'd have to start giving some things up if we had any more schedules to factor in.

Surprisingly, we only use the car a few times per week. For all of our busy goings-on, we still don't need a second car.