I tried to smother myself with my pillow today

. . . in an attempt to block out the idiot voices that are plaguing me. It did not work.

Here's the thing people: just because something pops into your head (or is said on conservative talk radio) does not mean you should repeat it. Seriously. Let your mouth be a barricade. Please.

Case in point: "Not correcting the gay problem is tearing this country apart." First of all, THE GAYS ARE NOT OUT TO GET YOU. I'm going to keep repeating that, because the conservative radio has laid their side on a little thick. There is no agenda, the gays do not have some sort of sick evangelism campaign going, no one is going to break into your house and have extra-marital sex in your living room. The gays are not as afraid of you as you are of them. Seriously. I promise. They are only afraid that their kids will one day have to put up with your ignorance.
Let me back up. Passing a law that allowed a civil union between two people of the same sex would not be condoning their sin any more than allowing spanking condones child abuse. Spanking has been shown, over and over again, to be detrimental to the development of a child. Spanked children have a harder time interacting with their peers, they are more aggressive, they are more likely to have trouble in relationships - they do not know how to relate to other people outside of the 'do as I say or else I'll hurt you' paradigm. Your continued use of spanking could (and is, in some circles) be seen as a serious sin against your kids. But we aren't going to legislate away your right to spank. Why? Because the U.S. Government has NO RIGHT to say what does or does not go on in your house. (Can you think of any other area where this logic could be applied?!) And because Americans shouldn't be legislating away something that could, in some hypothetical extreme, be harmful but that isn't in everyday practice.

Another example: "Obama's health care plan is like letting the post office run our health care system." What? First of all, the post office doesn't get any tax dollars. None. So the two are nothing alike. Secondly, even if they were, you don't *have* to use the post office. FedEx is right down the street. They'll deliver your letter too. But they won't come to your house, pick it up, and deliver it for 42 cents.



Sometimes, living here is incredibly difficult. There are opinions held and loudly voiced here that just wouldn't be tolerated anywhere else in the country or industrialized world. And today, I just want to be in a group of people who consider the people around them before they speak.

As much as I love church, I am tired of church people. I need a break. I have faith, but I do not therefore vote Republican. Micheal Steele is not the intermediary between faith and the voting booth.

Spanking and Shielding

I was reading a blog today by a Christian mama who mentioned her belief that when parents spank a child (especially a young child) for touching something or trying something deemed 'wrong' they are actually shielding their children from learning. Not only from learning that cars are heavy and could crush you or that stoves are hot, but from learning about life or how to try anything. If punished for trying/exploring/etc. children learn to play it safe, do only as their told (well, that seems to be the goal anyway), but is that safe? How do those kids learn to make decisions when they're older? Do they have to continually call their parents to ask permission or advice? Are they capable of sizing up an obstacle or question and weigh the options?

Wouldn't modeling good problem solving skills teach our kids a lot more than spanking teaches? I'd like for my kids to leave my home knowing a lot more than just 'don't'.

I've kept a blog since 2002, and I have never been a post-a-day kind of girl. It just isn't my style I guess.

Adelaide seems to be doing better. Plus, she slept really well last night. No dramatic, desperate crying for mama, no hours of misery hoping she'd calm down and go to sleep. If tonight goes as well, I might be sleeping in my own bed tomorrow night! Apparently, when I'm not there, she's perfectly happy to sip a bit of water when she wakes up. She only wanted milk once, and only took about an ounce. We ended up giving her the rest of the milk when she woke up just so we wouldn't have to waste it. She wasn't even hungry. So it can be done. Here's the plan:

2 more nights: she gets a milk option, we keep trying to lay her down awake but sleepy
next 3 nights: try not picking her up when she wakes up. We'll just pass her the water and talk to her and pat/rub her belly.

After that, we'll keep the routine for a week or so and then try giving her a room of her own. Maybe. I'm not committing to anything just yet. I dearly love waking up to her raspberrying my arm and then crawling over to me and patting Aaron on the shoulder and kissing his nose. (all winter, his beard was too furry - she kissed his nose instead)

Baby Bauer #2 is on the way!

Suddenly, a few weeks ago, I started getting carsick. And then food started to taste different. And then I smelled different. *red flag*

So I peed on a stick. The 'pregnant' line showed up before the 'this test is working line'. Way before. The 'pregnant' line showed up even before I had read the time on my phone. You're supposed to wait 3 minutes before reading the test, but after I took it, I had to back out of a few menus on my phone before the time was displayed. In the few seconds it took for me to back out to the main screen, the test already clearly read 'pregnant'. I was 3 days late, same as with Addie.

After Aaron and I got married, I had lots of baby dreams. Now that I've met her, I can see that baby in those dreams was Adelaide. Exactly Adelaide. Since she was born, I've had lots of dreams about having twins. Not baby dreams like Addie, not as vivid nor as unsettling.

We went to the pediatrician's office for one of Addie's checkups and when I mentioned the possibility of weaning due to pregnancy he said he thought I was pregnant with twins. He had a sense of it. This man (I'm sure) has little to no OB/GYN experience. But somehow his assertion that I could have two in there seems foreboding.

Fast line, consistent dreams, and a random comment from an almost stranger. Circumstantial evidence at best, but enough to make me wonder!

----

We are working on nightweaning Adelaide. I feel terrible. I hate it. But I'm so tired. And if I'm pregnant, nursing, and working full time, I need sleep. Aaron is up there armed with bottles of water (which she will take if she is not hungry), a bottle of milk (which she will take if she is hungry), and lots of love and patience. I know she is not alone. I know she will be well cared for and that I am right here. I know that she is old enough and secure enough to handle this. I know. But I like curling up with her at night. I like peeking into her crib and seeing her little chest rise and fall. I love her. I love being near her. I do not want to be away from her for an entire night.

She hasn't even woken up yet. It's time to sleep, and it's time to put all this worry away. *sigh*

Resurrection

I saw something on the history channel today about the 'first' Jesus. Something about a tablet that may or may not reveal Simon as the original rise-from-the-dead savior. While this was on I was feeding/entertaining/enjoying Adelaide and making lunch so I didn't get a whole lot out of the show, but it seemed to be based on very little. Too bad, I was all geared up for a crazy conspiracy theory. And those are way more fun when they're not completely made up.

By the way, did you know the dinosaurs were placed by martians as a joke? http://www.squidoo.com/rex-dinosaurs

Also: http://toadelaide.blogspot.com/