Sunday, February 7, 2010

The Overful Offering Plate

Today's offering basket was full. Overflowing.

We are such a small church, but we give with a joyful heart and it creates quite a bounty. I almost pushed down the money in an attempt to keep it all secure, but I stopped myself. I hesitated because I didn't wanted to deny anyone else the joy of seeing that full plate passing through their hands. Somehow our church has no trouble trusting God with our financial security. We aren't well off by any means, but we cheerfully entrust to God that which is his.

Friday, February 5, 2010

Where has all the breastmilk gone?

I donated my milk to Jasmine.

All fall I wondered why I had so much milk. People kept telling me that milk supply was moderated by Adelaide's demand, but I was skeptical because Addie did not want all the milk that I had. I was right. The milk wasn't for her. It was for Jasmine. A week has gone by since Jasmine was stabbed, and she should back to breastfeeding her son again if all went well.

From the Fairbanks News-Miner:
FAIRBANKS — A Fairbanks woman was arrested on felony assault charges early Thursday for allegedly stabbing her neighbor in the arm while burglarizing the neighbor’s apartment near Fox.

Jennifer E. Loving, 31, was arraigned on four felony charges in District Court on Friday, including first-degree assault, first-degree burglary, second-degree theft and tampering with physical evidence.

According to a criminal complaint filed in court, Loving is accused of stabbing Jasmine Wells, 29, in the left arm with a folding knife after hiding in a bedroom closet when Wells woke up and mistook Loving for her boyfriend. Loving rented a house next to the duplex Wells lived in.

Wells told Alaska State Troopers that she woke up in a back bedroom about 2 a.m. and heard somebody in the room. She initially thought it was her boyfriend, Justin Morgan, and called out to him.

At that point, Loving allegedly turned off a flashlight she had on and crouched in a closet, according to the complaint.

When Wells got up to go into the living room, Loving attacked her and stabbed her in the arm. Wells’ screaming woke up Morgan, who witnessed the assailant run out the back door. Morgan began to chase the assailant, but Wells’ screaming caused him to stop and return to the apartment to check her injuries.

Their landlord, Allen McQuade, who lives in an apartment above Wells and Morgan, awoke and called 911.

Wells was transported by ambulance to Fairbanks Memorial Hospital, where Sgt. Jeremy Rupe interviewed her. Wells had a puncture wound in her left tricep and a cut on her left forearm. The wound in her tricep was bleeding profusely, and hospital staff told Rupe that Wells had lost about two pints of blood.

Wells was transferred to Anchorage to have surgery on her arm. At Friday’s arraignment, assistant district attorney David Buettner told magistrate Alicemary Rasley that Wells could lose her arm as a result of the stabbing.

Troopers interviewed Morgan, who said the assailant fled in the direction of Loving’s house, and footprints leading from the back door across the yard were found when Rupe returned to the scene. Rupe interviewed Loving at 7 a.m. and noted she was the same height that both Wells and Morgan indicated the suspect was.

Loving denied any involvement or knowledge of the incident.

An hour later, Morgan called troopers to report that he had watched Loving place a tan bag in the trunk of a car that was similar to the bag that was taken from their apartment earlier that morning. Morgan then followed Loving down the Steese Highway, where she was stopped by troopers responding to Morgan’s call.

The trooper who stopped her asked to search her vehicle, but Loving initially refused and said the trunk contained only trash.

Rupe again interviewed Loving, who eventually confessed to stabbing Wells because Wells scared her. Loving then took a bag of items from the home and fled.

Loving also admitted she was taking other items, including the boots that she was wearing at the time of the stabbing, away from the home to get rid of them.

Loving also admitted to puncturing all four of the tires on McQuade’s Toyota pickup with the knife she stabbed Wells “to get even with him.” McQuade and Loving got into what he described as a “blowup” because she had not paid rent in two months and he asked her to leave.

Troopers determined that Loving gained access to Wells’ apartment through an unlocked entrance to the garage. She admitted to stealing Wells’ purse and an iPod from Morgan’s car.

Calling Loving’s actions “absolutely terrifying behavior,” Rasley set Loving’s bail at $75,000. She is being held at Fairbanks Correctional Center.

Contact staff writer Tim Mowry at 459-7587.

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

I'm back

Moving right along:

New Schedule
8-my bible study time
8:30-Mirus's bible study time
9:30(ish)- Adelaide wakes up
morning classes, playgroup, bible group, study time, work, or lunch date
Monday, Wednesday, and Sunday - we all have lunch together
Friday and Saturday - I'm working
afternoon classes, study time(s), doctor appointments or work
dinner together most days
6 - evening classes
Tuesday dinner date (out of the house!)


That's all I can remember right now. We have to have it all mapped out. One side of the page is a map of who is where and on what day, the other side of the page is who is responsible for being primary parent and when.

Plus, we have a monthly calendar to keep up with less frequent engagements. Turns out, two parents working, taking classes, and being involved in various community and social groups makes for one very, very busy family. It's a good thing we only have one baby right now. We'd have to start giving some things up if we had any more schedules to factor in.

Surprisingly, we only use the car a few times per week. For all of our busy goings-on, we still don't need a second car.

Sunday, October 11, 2009

A Day in My Life:

5am: nursing!, snack for me
7:30: nursing!, get dressed, get Adelaide dressed, eat breakfast
9am: nursing!
10am: nursing!
11: nursing!, lunch
1pm: nursing!, photo with UAF Mascot, playdate
3: nursing!, make dinner
5: nursing!, eat dinner
6: nursing!, walk
7: nursing!
9: nursing!
11: nursing!

Each nursing goes like this:
  • change diaper
  • nurse
  • burp
  • change diaper
  • nurse
  • burp
  • change diaper
  • change diaper
  • put Adelaide to sleep
and it usually takes at least 40 minutes.

All of this is pretty flexible, and changes regularly, but this is the rough outline.

Here's a weekly schedule:
Sunday: breakfast date, church, bible study
Monday: work, playdate in the afternoon
Tuesday: weigh in for Adelaide
Wednesday: moms' bible study, ministry group, our anniversary
Thursday: playdate in the morning
Friday: work, Aaron's poetry reading
Saturday: work

Plus, up until this week I had a weekly appointment with the lactation consultant and another weekly appointment with my midwife.

Monthly Schedule:
Week 1:
Week 2: LLL mtg
Week 3: My Dr. appt, 40 Below
Week 4: Adelaide's Dr. appt.


I should get a wall calendar.

How can I love my life so much? It's busy and complicated and tricky. I have no time for myself, I'm tired and achy, I don't know many people nearby, and my husband is OBSESSED with his classwork. I haven't read my bible in ages, but now that Adelaide has started sleeping in the Moby wrap I can do that. I can also start editing all the pictures I've taken of her. I'm really excited to start exercising too, but that will probably have to start more slowly than I would prefer; the walking is probably plenty for now.

I should really get a wall calendar.

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

A Schedule

I was very against the idea of putting Adelaide on a schedule because she's going to be hungry whenever she's hungry anyway, and between feedings and diapers on demand naps will just have to fit in wherever there's room. What resulted was a feeding frenzy because I was feeding her when she was not hungry but tired.

On the advice of two people trying to help me get her weight up, we've decided to try feeding her every two hours, whether she's hungry or not. Even though this should have resulted in spacing out her feedings, we thought she might be able to keep more down and nursing might go better if I have more time to heal in between.

Worked like a charm. She's gaining lots of weight, sleeping well, and I'm feeling a LOT better. Plus, our nursing sessions are a lot shorter because she can get more from me much more efficiently.

Over the last 6 days she gained 7 oz, and we'll weigh her again tomorrow to make sure she's getting weighed weekly on the same scale.

For now, we're off to bed. I have lots of laundry to sort and put away and precious little sleeping baby time to do it. This really is the best. BEST.

Friday, September 25, 2009

Tomorrow Adelaide will be one month old.

So far, she has learned that when she's got a dirty diaper and we lay her on the floor, she can stop crying because we're about to change her anyway. She's also learned that after Aaron changes her he will bring her to me for food. She will cry when he picks her up and stop when he starts to hand her to me, before she can see or feel me. She will also stop crying when she sees my pull down my shirt.

She's also decided that she prefers being comforted and put to sleep with me, and will scream like no other when she's with Aaron. Poor hubby. He doesn't know what she likes and no amount of explaining can teach it. And she only knows that she's not with mom, so she screams. Poor kid. If/when they get more time together they'll work it out.

I had no idea she could learn so much and show so much learning by this point.

She's pretty amazing!
Starting at one thirty, Adelaide woke up. I changed her, fed her, burped her, fed her, burped her, rocked her. She was fussy and started pumping her legs so I gave her some Mylicon drops and we rocked some more with the pacifier. She fell asleep. A beautiful, deep, peaceful sleep that looks more like the sleep I saw in her first few days. Now it's two thirty and she's in her glider snoozing away and I'm free to do all kinds of things!

Yesterday I did laundry and cleaned up the living room. Today I'm going to tackle the bedroom and her crib. I think I'll set up the baby monitor for the first time.

With all these wonderful new developments I've been able to pump each breast and start working out my clogged ducts and eat meals with both hands. I love my daughter, and I love our new routine. And I love that her belly doesn't hurt anymore.

Solutions:
Follow my instinct. When I was sure her belly was full, I stopped feeding her. When I was sure her belly hurt, I gave her a solution. When she cried in that sudden, impatient, angry way, I changed her. I have instincts for a reason. They will not always be right, but when they match objective signs they should be trusted.

No more comfort nursing on mama unless her last meal has had time to settle.

No more waiting to check the diaper - it's always the diaper.

Always have anti-gas drops nearby.

Let her fuss in her sleep. If she's not awake, the fuss will be over in a few seconds.

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Theories

1. Adelaide has some gas bubbles. Mylicon drops seem to have calmed her evening fussiness a lot.
2. Adelaide does NOT sleep with a messy diaper. This is not a theory, it's a proven fact. While I'm optimistic that this will result (or at least impact) a very quick potty 'learning' period, it doesn't help her much now.
3. I should have given her a pacifier earlier. Granted, her latch needed work, but her latch isn't going to get better while my breasts are hard and swollen.
4. My breasts are hard and swollen because Adelaide comfort nurses a lot. It's not a problem for me to comfort her a lot, and it's not a problem for most mothers to allow their children to nurse whenever the children want/need to. For me, it causes oversupply.
5. The excess milk production is causing plugged ducts. Plugged ducts contribute to (or maybe outright caused) my sore breasts and my soreness is impacting our relationship.
6. My nipple pain is caused by her latch and my sensitive skin. We need to keep working on her latch, but working on her latch hurts so badly that I end up going back to the shield for a day.
7. All the comfort nursing is overfilling her belly and causing her spit up. This upsets her and causes more nursing, which only adds to the problem.
8. I need to remember to wake her up to burp her after every feeding and then put her back to sleep.

I need to pump to clear out the plugged ducts, but pumping will add to my oversupply issues. Ideally, she would nurse out the clogged spots, but she gets VERY upset when the flow slows down (which results in me letting her switch to the other breast causing another letdown contributing to oversupply) and she ends up so upset that she can't nurse without the shield. She also gets too sleepy to latch correctly on her own, so we frequently have to go back to the shield at the end of the feeding.

I am now researching bottles that will let her practice her latch because my nipples just can't take it. Maybe we will take her to the chiropractor after all.

She also got her first not-me substance tonight. Since I found out I was pregnant I haven't taken even a Tylenol. No medications at all. Not even the eye goop that is required in some states to be given at birth. [Turns out, that's an antibiotic to prevent blindness in infants passing through a birth canal infected with chlamydia or gonorrhea. I have neither, she doesn't need weird chemicals in her eye for diseases I do not have.] Tonight she got gas relief drops. That and my new theories have resulted in a quiet, peaceful night. She fusses when her diaper is dirty, I change her, give her the pacifier (instead of my breast), and rock her back to sleep. Her nap has so far been interrupted 3 times, but she's sleeping peacefully. I've had time to heat, massage, and pump one breast and after her next feeding I'll have time to do the other.

It's time I start trusting my instincts. When I know in my heart and gut that she has a full belly and clean diaper, I need to just help her sleep. Nursing when she needs sleep is not meeting her needs. It's my job to meet her needs.

We'll see how these theories impact the next few days and consider revision. Parenting is more research and theorizing than I expected.
I think I really need to follow my instincts when it comes to nursing. Today I was just sure that Adelaide had enough milk and was just 'comfort nursing' but I let her keep going. Some babies do this and have no problems. Adelaide nurses until she makes herself sick. She just spit up so much that milk came out her nose.

So, we're limiting comfort nursing now. If she wants to keep sucking we'll have to give her the pacifier. She's not a huge fan of the pacifier, but I'm not a huge fan of raw nipples or her spitting up all the time.

I thought all the learning that took place after you have a baby was baby knowledge. But it's knowledge about MY baby. The learning is baby specific.

I have to go pump now.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Thoghts for my daughter

From India Arie:

Sometimes I shave my legs and sometimes I dont
Sometimes I comb my hair and sometimes I wont
Depend on how the wind blows I might even paint my toes
It really just depends on whatever feels good in my soul

I'm not the average girl from your video
And I aint built like a supermodel
But, I learned to love myself unconditionally
Because I amFont size
a queen
Im not the average girl from your video
My worth is not determined by the price of my clothes
No matter what Im wearing I will always be india arie


When I look in the mirror the only one there is me
Every freckle on my face is where its supposed to be
And I know our creator didnt make no mistakes on me
My feet, my thighs, my lips, my eyes; Im lovin what I see


I'm not the average girl from your video
And I aint built like a supermodel
But, I learned to love myself unconditionally
Because I amFont size
a queen
Im not the average girl from your video
My worth is not determined by the price of my clothes
No matter what Im wearing I will always be india arie
I'm not the average girl from your video
And I aint built like a supermodel
But, I learned to love myself unconditionally
Because I amFont size
a queen
Im not the average girl from your video
My worth is not determined by the price of my clothes
No matter what Im wearing I will always be india arie


Am I less of a lady if I dont wear pantyhose?
My mama said a lady aint what she wears but, what she knows
But, Ive drawn a conclusion, its all an illusion, confusions the name of the
Game
A misconception, a vast deception
Somethings gotta change
Dont be offended this is all my opinion
Aint nothing that Im sayin law
This is a true confession of a life learned lesson I was sent here to share wit
Yall
So get in where you fit in go on and shine
Free your mind, nows the time
Put your salt on the shelf
Go on and love yourself
cuz everythings gonna be all right

I'm not the average girl from your video
And I aint built like a supermodel
But, I learned to love myself unconditionally
Because I amFont size
a queen
Im not the average girl from your video
My worth is not determined by the price of my clothes
No matter what Im wearing I will always be india arie


Keep your fancy drinks and your expensive minks
I dont need that to have a good time
Keep your expensive car and your caviar
All I need is my guitar
Keep your crisp style and your pistol
Id rather have a pretty piece of crystal
Dont need your silicon I prefer my own
What God gave me is just fine

I'm not the average girl from your video
And I aint built like a supermodel
But, I learned to love myself unconditionally
Because I amFont size
a queen
Im not the average girl from your video
My worth is not determined by the price of my clothes
No matter what Im wearing I will always be india arie


I am not my hair
I am not this skin
I am not your expectations no
I am not my hair
I am not this skin
I am a soul that lives within