I'm fidgety and restless and my stomach is vaguely upset tonight.

I suppose I'd feel better if I'd gotten more done today, or if I'd gotten out of the house, or gone for a walk and gotten some exercise, but I really wanted to finish the cocoon I was working on. It's done, and it looks fantastic.

Actually that's a lie, I still need to buy 3 wooden buttons and put them on. Still, that's pretty impressive for one day's work.

Even chocolate ice cream doesn't sound good. With or without bananas.

Finishing up the slipcovers for the rocker seems like such a chore. It'll probably take less than an hour but I just don't want to re-thread the sewing machine or measure and cut the last two pieces. I love my yarn projects, but fabric projects are a real sort of pain.

I can't even think about politics, religion, or anything else worth discussing. It's all a strange blur right now. Usually things are so much clearer after dark but not tonight. All I can say is this: we've been going through The Love Dare study with a group at church and it's just like any other couples Bible study we've done. I start off all kinds of suspicious knowing that I love my marriage and don't want it to change AT ALL and invariably end up encouraged to hear about all the things we're doing right. We really have an amazing relationship and sometimes it's nice to hear it. "Today try doing some household chores that your mate usually does." Um, already done. "Today, find a way to greet your mate in an unusual, special way." Done. Day after day.

I've got a few new hints that something might be coming soon. Family drama MUST precede a joyous event, and there's some weird stuff going on. I don't have any way of measuring whether or not I've accumulated enough drama to move on to the exciting, joyous event. I suppose we'll have to wait and see. Nothing too specific is happening, just weird little things that crop up just enough to preoccupy my thoughts while I try to figure them out.

There's a good contraction. They never seem to intensify or come more frequently, I just have little squeezes. It's probably the Red Raspberry Leaf. It makes you more aware of uterine contractions because it tones smooth muscle tissue. Apparently, that makes real labor contractions more efficient and will cut down the time it takes to dilate. The downside is that now I'm paying attention to lots of contractions that I otherwise wouldn't be able to feel. Ah well.

I'm watching late night stand up while I type this, and the commercials that come on for all the adult videos actually have me looking forward to having my shape back. I do not feel bad about my body (why should I?) when I see these women, I'm excited to exercise and regain some control over my physical existence. Not inspiration exactly, but something close. Very weird.