my first late night in Fairbanks

So, I'm going to count this as dark. It's not dark yet, but it's the closest I'm going to see until after the summer solstice comes and goes.

Thanks to being preggo, I was exhausted by lunchtime and had to take a nap. I slept soundly for FOUR HOURS. So, now, I'm wide awake with my ankles propped up and hopefully draining with a fan blowing on me trying to enjoy the 'night'. For the longest time, Nanook was jumping and hopping and kicking and my belly was moving so much I'm not sure I could have slept even if I was tired.

Fairbanks might have the all time highest concentration of nice people of any city I've ever been to. Everyone we meet is just wonderful. It's almost strange. Maybe I lived in a 'big city' for too long, but I really am surprised that even the weirdos are really very nice. Maybe I just haven't met enough people here.

Also, it turns out the reason we couldn't find produce at the farmer's market is that the growing season has only just begun. Nothing will be in yet for weeks. That's disappointing. I was really looking forward to super-fresh veggies all summer. And since produce is EXPENSIVE up here, the discount for buying directly from the growers would have been a nice perk too. I suppose I can wait.

It's getting harder and harder to wait for Nanook though. I'm so excited to meet her. I'm excited to see my Mirus as a dad, and I'm excited to be a mom. I've spoken to other women in the same position and they're getting antsy too. I suppose it's just part of the process. Still, knowing that it's 'normal' doesn't make me any less impatient. It's hot, I'm tired, I'm bored of waiting and being pregnant, and I want to meet my child. The restlessness combined with an ever-decreasing motility is going to make for an interesting summer.

The big kicks are back, she must have woken up. Figures, as I'm finally settling down enough to go to bed.

We have our first prenatal appointment in Fairbanks tomorrow. I don't have a lot of time to pick a new care provider if we don't like the midwives, so I'm really, REALLY hoping that hubby and I like everyone there. So far, they seem great, and they come very highly recommended from everyone I could find on the internet who's birthed with them.

I'm not interested in birthing in a hospital. No thank you. I want to be at home, and when I'm done, I want to focus on nothing more than curling up in MY bed and getting to know my new family. Not wondering if we got everything packed up, not worrying about the carseat being buckled in right, not flinching everytime we see another car on the road. I just want to curl up with my husband and daughter and enjoy our first few hours together. And as long as birthing in hospitals is linked with higher rates of intervention, I'm not going in unneccessarily. There are lots of good statistical reasons why home births and births with midwives are safer for both mother and baby, but tonight, I only want to think about the soft fuzzy stuff. Curling up with my daughter.

I can't wait to hear her heartbeat tomorrow. That is still so beautiful.